Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
