he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
