omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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