u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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