let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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