Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
