are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize