Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
