Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
