He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn victory sex feels great
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
