You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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