I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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