no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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