So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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