i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize