Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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