He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
