john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I lost the right to judge tonight
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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