Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
