Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
