Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
