I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
