come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
