you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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