some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
