Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
