We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
