can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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