They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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