Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have demons in me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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