Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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