Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
