Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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