You're my little dorito
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
