Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
