Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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