please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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