I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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