i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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