And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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