I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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