90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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