so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
