Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
