We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I came so hard my ears popped.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
