Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
