I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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