Jerry, you need to find god
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
