she smelled like a LAN party
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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