Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
