Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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