can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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