Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
