is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Drake has all the answers
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
