I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize
