You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
