somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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