Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
