The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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