I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
