Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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