I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
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Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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