turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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