I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
