i already hear my dad disowning me
farters have to be the big spoon...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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